This post was originally published on LinkedIn on 15/10/22. You can view the original here.

I talk to a lot of people about starting and building communities. It is so often the reason people come to me in a work capacity, and when it isn't, it's a subject that usually comes up quickly in conversation. People want to build spaces for connection and belonging not just for others but, in many cases, for themselves.

There is a certain glamour to founding something, be it a company but also in starting a community. Entrepreneurial and hustle culture has taught us that there is a mythical pedestal upon which a founder can stand. What entrepreneurial culture doesn't acknowledge enough is the hard work that's involved and, in the case of community building, the silences, the engagement drop-offs, and the continual time and efforts that go into community growth. Communities do not run themselves, nor do members rarely engage with one another without deliberate effort and planning. Like founding a start-up, community leadership is a play for the long term. That sense of belonging we feel in communities comes through hard work, but just like start-ups, communities don't come together by magic, and the reason for gathering needs to be unique.

I saw this as a lot leading the #linkedinlocal host community. People came and went, and the ones that stayed were those in it for reasons beyond their own needs. During those mentoring years, I would sometimes find myself in conversation with someone looking to start a local chapter in their city, despite one already existing there. When I asked the question if they had been to the gatherings already taking place, I often heard a no. Back then, and often where my thoughts are drawn to now is, if you haven't participated in the communities around you yet, how can you truly build something unique?

Which brings me to a question; with all the work involved and with all of the consistency needed in community building, what if there were more to be gained by showing up in existing communities instead?

​Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering, recently shared a guide in her newsletter about how to be a great guest. In it she shares how MVG's (Most Valuable Guests) help find meaning, think like hosts, and shape other guests' behaviour. When you show up in a community, you inspire others to do the same and contribute to the whole experience for yourself and for others.

If you are looking for ways in which to show up more intentionally in the communities around you, here are some ideas:

Seek out new communities. Where you feel a need for more belonging in your life, ask those around you (friends, colleagues, partners etc) what groups they participate in to meet those needs. Consider business groups, community groups and online groups. In what spaces do you crave more belonging, and where do others find it?

Get to know those communities better. Whether it's a new community or one you've been a part of for a while, look up their rules, purpose statements and values. If it's a well-run community, then much thought will have gone into these, and they will teach you how you can be more involved.

Be intentional in planning and show up consistently. Make a list of the communities you'd like to be more active in. Create a bookmark list in your browser and a link to each of these. Diarise to check in with them 2-3 times each week. I have a community check-in entry in my diary twice each week to make sure I am consistently showing up to those I have bookmarked. This will also help you show up on community platforms where you don't normally hang out and be less reliant on social media algorithms.

Offer support to community managers. Community strategy involves outreach to members to understand user needs and help increase engagement. If only more members would do this in reverse. Get to know them, understand their role and where the community is going, and offer support to the online group or to help out at events. One thing I also learned from many introverted hosts at LinkedIn Local events was that having something to do at an event made them feel a lot more comfortable.

Fill out surveys. Community surveys are very intentional and help shape the direction and engagement in communities. Please take the time to complete any survey you receive if you care about that community and the people in it.

Listen before you speak. In offline communities, this means refraining from pitching and asking people questions about themselves before launching into your story. In online communities, for every post you make, ensure you reply to at least 3 other posts. This point alone would fix at least a quarter of LinkedIn groups out there if only users were willing to take this advice on board.

Ask questions. Multiple answer threads help others find solutions without having to outrightly ask a question themselves. I believe questions themselves are a gift because they provide diversity in the possible answers. Entire platforms have been built upon questions. They are also a great way for others to feel like they can also ask questions, helping to increase engagement. For all the advice culture out there, often the best advice comes from asking a more thought-provoking question.

If you do truly see a gap in connection around a particular purpose that warrants bringing people together, then it may be time to start your own community. But you will have done the research and better understand why and how communities interact.

Since stepping away from leading the host community for LinkedInLocal in 2019, burned out but still wanting to explore interaction without the pressure of leading, I went deep into learning about community-building strategy, human connection and belonging. There I found deep comfort in other people's communities. It was a feeling of relief for me to have to be the one to always come up with the ideas and to participate, but also to protect my own anxiety and energy.

What I've gained from participation in other communities could never have been achieved in a community I was actively running. The lesson and value are in the participation.

For many, how we show up and participate in community me be fundamentally more important than creating them.

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